How I'm managing my fibromyalgia now

I've been doing much better lately with my fibromyalgia symptoms, but a pre-virus flare-up left me stricken and wondering what exactly I'd been doing in the past few months to keep the beast at bay.

Although I've read that it takes a good six months for fibro suffered to bounce back after pregnancy and childbirth, I'd like to think I can credit a few well-executed self-care techniques for keeping me functioning.

I did give up gluten, followed by dairy, for a couple of months.  When I went back to eating those particular foods in late May and found that there was no apparent connection between them and my fibro symptoms, I decided not to cut them out again.

Still, avoiding so many foods meant I necessarily ate healthier things.  Bread and cheese and their next-of-kin meant weight gain and sluggishness, things undesirable in themselves but especially unhelpful when one already has an autoimmune disease.

The past month, I've been focusing on eating positively as well as negatively.  That means choosing deliberate foods instead of just avoiding them.  Using the Whole30 as my guidepost for yes-foods, I consider each addition before adding it.  So, I may have something with sugar in it (like a dollar sweet tea from McDonald's), but it's not sneaking in under the radar.  Being aware of it means that I have the control to actively choose and curate my diet around that it for the rest of the day.

But don't think that I'm depriving myself.  I'm focusing on meats, fruits, and vegetables, but I go for the gold, always getting my favorites.  I mean, if you have a meal you only sort of like, why eat it?  Then you'll definitely feel like you're missing out (and set yourself up for diet failure).  Instead, I keep coming back to old favorites I never tire of: salad with lots of onions, avocado, and tomatoes; juicy hamburgers, sans bun; and brothy soups with lots of veggies.

I've also become a religious napper.  I've always liked naps. craved naps, welcomed them like old friends . . . but I've never exactly scheduled them.  Now I take a nap nearly every day at the same time with Roan.  It helps that Afon is going to school, so there's a built-in schedule.  Also, Afon doesn't nap, so it's a little hard to sleep when he's here.

What I'm not doing--and would like to do next--is add regular, gentle exercise to my routine.  It's important for fibromyalgia patients to keep moving, even when it hurts because, "Exercise gives you endorphins.  Endorphins make you happy.  Happy people just don't shoot their husbands!"

What do you do to keep healthy and feel well?

This Child

His face is looking very full right now, even though his legs and body seem to have gotten longer. He fills out before he fills up, so I know that right before a growth spur the will look very solid and husky.

I mentioned something briefly before about him being diagnosed with ASD (autism) in November.  It's been a long, complex road, often thrown into doubt.  He met all his milestones as a baby and was always affectionate and interactive.  His speech seemed to be developing, and though he was mostly mute by the age of three, I'd heard from a lot of parents that boys his age don't start talking until 3 or even 4 years of age.  Same with potty training.

Despite all of this, I couldn't shake the nagging feeling that something was off.  It came and went, of course.  Some days, I was soothed by the day care providers at the day care we both attended (he to school, me to work).  They would shake their heads and tell me nothing was wrong with him and not to worry so much; that he would develop in his own time; I even got the occasional impression from certain people that I wasn't being a very supportive mother by just assuming something could possibly be wrong with him; as if I weren't "accepting" him for who he was and that thinking some things about him were "off" made me a bad(ish) parent.

Hands down, the most destructive thing for us were the people who, meaning well, told us definiteively there was nothing wrong with him.  Because with autism, early intervention is so, so important.

It's hard to explain exactly what was off about Afon.  It was normal things, but things that were pushed to the extreme of normal.  Like, he colored on the walls.  Okay, so do lots of children.  But I mean, he.  Colored.  On.  The.  Walls.  It was a constant thing, day and night, coloring on furniture, clothing, body, cabinets, floor, blankets, windows.  And no amount of correction or chastisement dissuaded him.  Or his bull-headedness about getting into things.  It was a constant intervention for me to keep him from breaking things.  And as you can imagine, it's hard to keep a 24 hour surveillance on a curious toddler, and I was pretty darn savvy about household safety.  Locks on the doors, cabinets, drawers, and refrigerator.  But he still managed, and he was never gentle.  It's like he didn't know how to handle objects appropriately.  At all.

There were a whole handful of things I'm probably forgetting that, by themselves, are just quirks and normal kid things--but altogether, paired with the genes of a parent diagnosed with Asperger's making inheritance a strong possibility, and an increase in uncontrollable behavior (pulling off diapers and using the toilet wherever he stood in the house, refusal to wear clothes without total meltdowns, and spontaneously ripping pages from books he had contentedly been reading moments earlier), we knew we had to get help.

So I talked to the doctor, but we are on government health insurance, and that always takes a long time.  It's like, their thing.  So my grandmother offered to pay for us to go to a private psychiatrist, a pretty, friendly woman who has been in the field of autism for 25 years.  Needless to say, she nailed him as ASD, after a thorough and comprehensive three-stage evaluation.

With an official diagnosis, we've been able to pursue therapy and treatment, but it doesn't happen overnight.  All of this happened right on the cusp of Christmas, and you know that government offices don't function well normally.  There was a lot of e-mailing back and forth, calling and leaving voice messages, waiting out the weekend because of course we weren't contacted until Friday, trying to find missing paperwork, etc.

As we speak, we've fallen into a therapy black hole; the places that take Medicaid are not currently accepting any new clients and/or are impossible to get hold of (think, number disconnected or voice mailbox full).  But he has been approved by the county, so we know we will be able to put him into a special needs class, as soon as that paperwork (finally) goes through.

And you know, he is improving, on his own.  It just probably would have saved us a lot of frustration if we had chased after these doubts head on to begin with.

If you think your child might have autism, or have any concern for him in any way, don't hesitate to get him checked.  In the end, you are your child's parent, and you know what is best for him, no one else.  Don't underestimate the power of instinct, nor the peace that comes with knowing for sure.

7 Quick Updates

-- one --

The other day I clicked over to my comment settings and saw that I had captcha and blocked anonymous comments enabled.  Gosh, I hate those when I'm trolling visiting other blogs, so I'm so, so sorry if you've been trying to comment and been turned away.  Let me know if you're still having problems so I can fix it.

-- two --

My sis-in-law gave me a $100 gift card to Anthropologie as a baby gift.  I've never shopped there before, and wow, their dresses are expensive!  They have only a limited amount of baby things, too.  I've been sitting on it for weeks now, and I don't know what I should buy with it.  Advice?

-- three --

I am eating gluten-free as of now 'til . . . forever . . . because of my health problems coming to a head after the birth of #2.  There is gluten.  In.  Everything.  Mostly because of soy.  Tainted, tasty soy.  Reading labels is tedious, but I'm desperate at this point.  I've been through a battery of tests since Roan was born, and I've finally been referred to a rheumatologist.  I know what the diagnosis is going to be: either fibromyalgia or chronic fatigue syndrome.  I'll just be relieved to have a name for what I'm going through.

-- four --

As of today, Afon has still not received therapy for his ASD.  But he was evaluated and diagnosed by the county school board, so it's only a matter of time before they get him set up in a special needs class at school.  As for private therapy, Medicaid finally approved us, but now the one group of people are no longer taking calls and the other group are no longer making appointments (until further notice).

-- five --

I'm still catching up on {Fountains of Carrots} podcast.  It's delightful.  I love feeling like I can hang out with Haley and Christy while I'm driving the car or nursing the baby.  Low-maintence at its best.  You should check it out, if you haven't already.

-- six --

So . . . this.

It would be nice to get a little bit of income, just to get the things here and there that pop up in daily life.  Like, a haircut.  A haircut would be nice.

Is anyone interested?  It would be a 30 minute session; includes all the digital photos that came out from that session, developed by me, on a CD, with rights to print and distribute.  Location of your choice, date of your choice.  From now until . . . oh, I don't know . . . Easter?

{See more of my photography here.}

-- seven --

A relic of Saint Anthony is making the rounds in our diocese, and it's at our parish today!  Going to go touch the Roan to the holy remains.  ;)  And probably a rosary or two.

I don't have a particularly strong devotion to Saint Anthony, despite visiting him in Padua, his patronage of my home parish, and his nifty help with (ALWAYS) finding my lost things for me.  ('Course, he probably hid those things to begin with, since Masha says he is mischievous.)  So maybe it's time I start?

If you have any prayer intentions, leave a comment or shoot me an e-mail within the next couple of hours and I will bring them to our Big Brother.

Linking up with Kelly for {Seven Quick Takes Friday}.

5 Favorites: Health and Beauty Hacks

1 // Optimize your hair product.

Credit to my BFF Ashley, who wouldn't leave me alone until I stopped spraying product directly into my hair and into my hands instead.

Pump or pour a little bit of product directly into your palm (this doesn't work for hairspray or other staying products, obviously), then rub your hands together, coating both palms.  Run your hands through your hair thoroughly.  You'd be surprised how you save on product without skimping on style.  This technique gets the product into all of your hair and assures that a little bit goes everywhere, rather than a large glob that gets stuck where it's put and is hard to spread around.  You'll notice the stylist at the salon does this as well.

2 // Use hair conditioner to shave your legs (or beards, gentlemen!).

Shaving cream is expensive and not very economical.  This trick saves me packing space as well.  I've never had a cut while using conditioner to shave my legs, and your legs are soft and moisturized afterward!

3 // Get creative with deodorant.

I noticed anti-chafing product at the store in the same containers in which deodorant is sold.  So I went home and tried it with my own anti-antiperspirant.  It works.  And I lived in swamp land!

4 // Take your tooth brush to go.

Best thing since sliced bread.  Especially when I was working.  No water required, no mes.  I would throw some Colgate Wisps into my purse and if I forgot to/didn't have time to brush my teeth that morning, I would use these in the car.  Also good for after coffee, naps, and lunch break.  They're a tad pricey, but keep your eyes peeled at local discount stores for them to turn up or buy an off-brand.  I got them for pennies at Big Lots.

Bonus: they kept Afon quiet for most of Mass and cleaned his teeth!

5 // Use toothpaste on spots.

You've got it anyway, right?  A tap of toothpaste on a pimple before bedtime works just as well as off-brand pimple cream.

♥

Got any health, hygiene, or beauty life hacks?  Most of these were learned word-of-mouth, and I'm always looking for things to make life easier.  So do share!