Saturday, 28 February 2015

Keeping up with Friends in a Technological Age

I've been thinking a lot lately about keeping up with friends; worrying is more like it.  Wondering if anyone feels slighted or forgotten because I haven't written or responded to a text or message.  I am a chronic read-and-don't-immediately-respond kind of person; which you've probably noticed, after you get the reply from me days--or even weeks--after reaching out.

Here's the thing: it means the world to me, it really does!  You mean the world to me.  I used to think that if someone was important to me, I should make the time to connect.  But--and this is going to sound absurd, but it is really, really true--there are so many amazing, gorgeous people in my life that I want to be connected with, and can't imagine letting go, and (less selfishly) are important to me for their own sakes so I want to know about them, and their lives, and their families, hopes, dreams, failures, sufferings, and joys.  And with an Autistic four-year-old, a newborn baby, and chronic health problems that knock me out for days at a time and leave me with so much catching up to do in the interim with just daily necessities, like laundry and grocery shopping, it is difficult to realistically keep a thorough and regular correspondence with the people that matter.  Gosh, it goes against my instinct to even type that out!  But what's the alternative?  I won't stop caring about the people I care about.  Duh.  And how can I even begin to curse or resent the abundant souls God has put in my life to be companions and encourage me along the journey?

I'm happy for technologies like texting and Facebook; so I can do spur-of-the-moment cheek-ins with people and, I hope, remind them that they are a part of my contemplative life.  A community of invisible people that "haunt" me, so to speak, throughout my day, are always present in the back of my mind, and always dear.  The Body of Christ.  

But there's also a risk of people wondering . . . "She read my message, or liked my Instagram, but hasn't dropped me a line or replied to my comment or given me a call."  Maybe I am overthinking it (probably am!).  Just in case, I want you to know that that when I click "like" on that Facebook post, I am probably liking it with all my might, willing you to feel my affection.  Because that's about all I can do at the moment.  I'm very likely standing up with a baby tied to me while eating a bowl of dry cereal!

I get that your life is busy and full and blessed, and don't think for a moment that it worries me if you haven't reached out to me in a while.  I don't want to be that high-maintience friend!  So if you drop me a one-line text every couple of months or so, just know that that is like dessert for my spirit--it's not a super-needy dependency being met but a delight that makes the moment that much richer.

And we all better make it to heaven because I'm looking forward to when we have all the time in--and out of--the world to hang out.  ;)


  1. Haha, I never feel unloved by you. :) And my list of emails I've failed to respond to in the last six weeks or so is getting quite long, so you're so NOT the only one in that boat!

  2. I'm much the same way about keeping up with people! Fortunately, my husband is great about keeping in touch. The funny thing is, I'm an extrovert (which was a surprisingly recent discovery).


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